But what if your favourite person is bored of you?

I have actually been really jealous of those people who whenever they have a problem with someone, they just sit down with that specific person and fix everything and get their lives back on track. HOW?

I have been trying (completely unsuccessfully) to get my stupid friend to make time and talk to me because (and in his words) , ‘we’ve been at odds’; To say that I have failed would be an understatement. I have absolutely failed because its been a week since I told him that I was effectively done with him, and everything related to him, and that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Now if the situation was reversed, and someone came up to me and told me that they didn’t want anything to do with me, I’d be worried. And curious. And upset, and little mad. And I’d probably do anything to get to the bottom of it.  The only reaction I got was no reaction and if I wasn’t mad earlier at the way things at turned out, I was now.

Since Wednesday, I have been opening my phone to messages saying ‘We need to talk’ ‘When you’re free, let’s talk’ – but the thing is, its Sunday and this talk hasn’t happened yet.

The situation actually wouldn’t be the heartbreaking and I would right about now be moving on if it would have been anyone else – if it, quite literally, hadn’t been just about my favourite person who now was standing in front of me and not caring that I was done. At first, I was shocked that everything I was saying wasn’t making even a tiny, miny little bit of a difference. That was at first. It actually didn’t take me too long to realize that my favourite person is in fact, really bored. He’s bored of me, and he’s bored of my talks, and all my stories.

There’s this weird kind of feeling that comes with the realization that someone’s bored of you. First, you’re completely dumbfounded – how could someone who you tried so hard to do everything for, be bored of you? Then comes the heartache, what did you do that this person who was always happy to be around you suddenly can’t seem to get far away from you? When you finally go through the whole cycle of being really upset and then really angry, you start feeling extremely stupid. Why didn’t you see it coming? What I’ve actually figured out after a whole week of contemplating about this is that it was never my fault. I could’ve said anything else, and he wouldn’t have cared.

My favourite person got bored of me and now I’m moving back to making Harry Styles my favourite human.

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Can I go back to work?

College re-opened today after a huge vacation period. Obviously, I did not want to go back to college (I never want to go back to college), but for the first time, during this internship break I had the best time – and that was the only reason I did not want to go back to college.

I interned for three weeks at a law firm and I worked with the Banking and Finance team and I’m not even kidding when I say I absolutely loved it! I had the nicest boss and the sweetest team to work for and though the working hours were killing me on a daily basis (10:30 – 8:30), I did not want to leave. This was my fifth internship and this was in fact the first time I really felt like this is what I would love doing for the rest of my life. For our last year at college, we have four specializations offered out of which we need to choose one – one of them is Banking & Finance and Corporate Law, and after this internship I can positively say I’m moving towards the direction of Banking & Finance!

All in all, my internship is over and college has started again and I would give anything to go back to work!

 

White beaches and Blue seas,

College has been on break since the second week of October. Its our combined diwali vacations and the month long internship break.
Now for the past 2 years, we’ve not really taken a family vacation – mainly because my brother had tons to study and no time to spare. So this time, when we both had ample free time, I was completely adamant about a vacation. At this point, all of us just really, really needed it.

Thus, on the 15th of October (a Sunday), we took off from Mumbai to go visit Goa! I’m not exaggerating when I say that I LOVE the beach! I’m obsessed with the water, and the waves, and the simple, happy feelings that beaches create in you. Our trip was four nights long and I’m proud to say, a complete success!

Ever since I’ve learnt how to properly use my expensive camera, I’ve actually gotten a bit better at taking pictures and thus I ended up taking some really beautiful pictures. And ever since my mother gifted me a polaroid camera, I ended up taking some really cute polaroid pictures as well!

I collected adorable sea shells, bought really cute foot jewelry and purchased tons of souvenirs (I have a definite thing for them) and had a truckload of fun – right from spending every spare moment on the beach to road tripping to various places. I clearly remember, at one point, I was standing on the beach, near the edge of the sea with just enough water washing against my ankles and I remember thinking, ‘I love this. I love the beach, and the water and I love feeling that I was born for this.’

WWYD?

What if there’s one person you really want to tell something to, and that’s the one person you completely cannot tell this thing to?

For everyone who hasn’t seen/read The Fault in Our Stars; its about two teenagers who both have cancer and who fall in love and one of them dies (because obviously how else are you going to make everyone cry?) When Augustus dies, Hazel is heartbroken, and her parents try communicating with her all day. She’s sitting all alone on her swing set and she’s hating this simple fact that everyone wants to talk to her about Gus’ death. This is what she thinks at that exact moment: “The only person I wanted to talk to about Augustus Waters death, was Augustus Waters.” 

For obvious reasons, she couldn’t.

What if this happens to you once in a while? What if there’s just one person in this entire universe you want to tell something to and that’s just the one person you absolutely cannot tell this thing to? It could be anything. You want to tell something to your best friend but she would hate you for saying that. So you don’t tell her. But you really, really don’t want to tell anyone else.

When you look back, this seems like such a common dilemma. At any time in life, you’re stuck with this piece of information, or you have this advice you wanna give out, or just this massive feeling and the only person you want to tell is the person you can’t! – Maybe this information is about them, maybe this advice would seem to them as you overstepping your boundaries, But you really don’t want to tell anyone else. You want their opinion, their voice, their talk. But they’re your figurative Augustus Waters.

So, what would you do?

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

“Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the person, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May.” – This is what wikipedia describes Mother’s Day as.

I personally think Mother’s Day is a lot more than just one day of honouring moms. I think everyday is a just another version of Mother’s Day. If you really think about it, we aren’t doing anything different on Mother’s Day than we’re doing on every other day. Sure, we’ll get her gift, or take her our for a meal, or maybe even cook a meal! But at the end of the day, she’s the one taking out the trash, she’s putting the clothes up for washing, she is doing everything she’s been doing since she became a mother.

Its Mother’s Day (14th May) today here in India, and since I have exams starting from tomorrow, I’m not with my mother. Even though its supposed to be a ‘special day’ for her, I’m 1000000% sure she’s gone running, or cycling now. Then she’ll be back and cook breakfast (and since its a Sunday it’ll be a special breakfast) and she’ll do everything she needs to do.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Please eat some chocolate cake!

In other news,
My mother now writes a blog as well! She’s just started but she’s becoming really dedicated, really quickly. Go check out her blog ❤

Mom’s Blog!

Its my face, and its my acne!

I don’t think the title of the post gives away the frustration that when in to writing this post; since I’m 99.99% sure it doesn’t, this is how frustrated I was:

 

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SO now since everyone is up to date –

I have tons of acne. Not kidding. I’ve had acne problems since what feels like forever (its not forever though I had beautifully clear skin back in 2011). Anyway, the point of this post is this: I have acne. I’ve made peace with it. I’ve made peace with my acne and we don’t fight anymore. So the acne isn’t a problem anymore. What the actual problem is people (isn’t it always but?). People. People who think they have a right to comment on my face, or my acne, or better yet, give solutions! Excuse me, does this look like your face, or your problem? I don’t think so, because from here it looks like my face and subsequently my problem!

Everywhere I go, there will be at least 1 person who’s decided to comment on my face: “Oh why do you have so many marks?”
“I have the perfect solution!”
“It worked so well for my brother, it’ll work wonders on you.”

The problem with people is even if you ignore them, They. Will. Not. Stop. Talking. I often wonder though, is this a problem with people, or is this a problem with Indians? What do you think?
Getting back to the point of this blog post, I was traveling in the Mumbai local train with my friends. I’m sitting peacefully, minding my own business – not even throwing dirty glares at aunties talking obnoxiously loudly! Out of nowhere, this lady taps my hand and then starts off a long and annoying and filled with really, really bad vocabulary rant about what I should do for my acne! Hello, who asked you? I don’t even know you! The woman doesn’t stop till she gets down, and also shows me pictures of her boyfriend who has beautiful skin now! And guess what? Just before she gets down, she says these exact words in Hindi: “If you need ANY help at all, do not hesitate to contact me, okay?” Random train woman gives zero fucks that I haven’t responded to any part of the conversation.

After she leaves, an old aunty who thinks she knows all the life hacks in the world, starts off. First, by stating that everything random woman spoke was false and the only true cure to acne is Ayurvedic medicine! Wow. Thanks for this piece of advice random old aunty to a person who’s dealt with acne since you were annoying: FOREVER.

These two instances were just two isolated events. I can’t even begin to talk about the amount of times random people have tried to give me advice like they’ve known me since I was in kindergarten. So I think its safe to say that I LOATHE people who think they’ve got the right to advice me about my health issues. The only people with that right are my parents, my brother and my doctor. So if you don’t feature in this really small and concise list, I have one advice for you:

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Thanks for getting me overly-attached

I have this friend at college who in the past few months has became way too important to me. And the worst part is that he’s overly nice, and overly happy, overly cheerful, and overly friendly and just makes me happy whenever he’s with me.

I also fought with him in January and cried over him tons and tons and that’s when I realized how much he means to me; much, much more than so many other people that I know.

What I usually get sad and disappointed about (and then start overthinking about) is that what if he eventually gets tired of me? What if he decides to get more ‘happening’ friends, or spend all the time he spends with me with people much more interesting? And then I realize that the amount of power his opinion has over me is ridiculous and I want to slap myself hard for getting this overly-attached; for making him matter so much to me when it might not even be two-way.

Right now, at this point, he is one of my favouritest people and I’m perfectly happy with that – What I’m not happy with is how could I let myself be so stupid as to become so overly-attached?