I have actually been really jealous of those people who whenever they have a problem with someone, they just sit down with that specific person and fix everything and get their lives back on track. HOW?
I have been trying (completely unsuccessfully) to get my stupid friend to make time and talk to me because (and in his words) , ‘we’ve been at odds’; To say that I have failed would be an understatement. I have absolutely failed because its been a week since I told him that I was effectively done with him, and everything related to him, and that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Now if the situation was reversed, and someone came up to me and told me that they didn’t want anything to do with me, I’d be worried. And curious. And upset, and little mad. And I’d probably do anything to get to the bottom of it. The only reaction I got was no reaction and if I wasn’t mad earlier at the way things at turned out, I was now.
Since Wednesday, I have been opening my phone to messages saying ‘We need to talk’ ‘When you’re free, let’s talk’ – but the thing is, its Sunday and this talk hasn’t happened yet.
The situation actually wouldn’t be the heartbreaking and I would right about now be moving on if it would have been anyone else – if it, quite literally, hadn’t been just about my favourite person who now was standing in front of me and not caring that I was done. At first, I was shocked that everything I was saying wasn’t making even a tiny, miny little bit of a difference. That was at first. It actually didn’t take me too long to realize that my favourite person is in fact, really bored. He’s bored of me, and he’s bored of my talks, and all my stories.
There’s this weird kind of feeling that comes with the realization that someone’s bored of you. First, you’re completely dumbfounded – how could someone who you tried so hard to do everything for, be bored of you? Then comes the heartache, what did you do that this person who was always happy to be around you suddenly can’t seem to get far away from you? When you finally go through the whole cycle of being really upset and then really angry, you start feeling extremely stupid. Why didn’t you see it coming? What I’ve actually figured out after a whole week of contemplating about this is that it was never my fault. I could’ve said anything else, and he wouldn’t have cared.
My favourite person got bored of me and now I’m moving back to making Harry Styles my favourite human.