An Open Letter to the Boy whose friendship I left behind,
I’ve read that if you’ve known someone for longer than seven years, that friendship lasts for a lifetime. Funny how that never seemed to work for us. Its stupid logic and I would love to blame it for everything we lost, but you and I both know that the only reason we lost anything was because of each other.
I’m not lying when I say this – for about 6 months of my life, you were my best friend. My favourite person. My numero uno. I told you everything, I took advice about everything from you and I spent every day looking forward to spending time with you. Sometimes, I like to sit back and blame you for everything. For not texting back, for not giving me the time of the day, for not remembering my birthday. Other days I prefer blaming the circumstances, the environment, the people we were surrounded by. I like to think that I did everything in my power to salvage our friendship, and that you, you did nothing.
The other day I saw you and we smiled at each other. A few minutes later I saw you talking to another girl. My best friend asked me if it bothered me. I said no. But to be honest, it bothered me. It bothered me to think that if everything that happened hadn’t happened, you and I would be talking like this. You and I, we’re okay right now. But if everything that happened hadn’t happened, you and I, we would have been the same.
You once told me that in a run of around 10 years, we’ve had 1 bad year and we’re the better for it. I wish I could agree. I think, one bad year completely destroyed us, and I think we tried to come back, but we really couldn’t. If there is a half year resolution, mine would be that you get the best of everything in life because you deserve nothing less.
Sometimes I can’t help but miss you desperately. Sometimes I can’t believe how powerful one year can be. Most days, I still blame you for giving up on what could have been a lifelong friendship. But after a year of fighting and reflections, I know it wasn’t your fault. Not really. I once read, “People don’t grow apart, they allow themselves to grow apart.”
90% of the time, I want go back in time and erase every fight and every mistake. The other 10% of the time I want to move on, and I want you to move on but never forget that no matter where life takes us, I’ll always be there when you really need me. I’m rooting for my 10%.
The Girl who’s learning to Move On