In India if you want to be an engineering student, you give the JEE(Main) and then JEE(Advanced). They’re super difficult and they’re out of 360 marks, and if anyone in India decides to undertake this extremely stressful task of taking the Mains and the rest, you have my full respect.
One of my best friends gave these last year(when I gave my law entrance). But not being satisfied with his result, he decided to take a year off and studying again. Let me just tell you how much I respect that, because even though I was unhappy with my results, I could never in my life have the strength to give that same exam again after studying for a whole year. I just couldn’t.
So it was time for his exam again. And he was so stressed, and I get that. The results for the Mains came two days back and he scored a 170 out of a possible 360. The cutoff for giving the Advanced was 105. So he cleared it by a huge margin. And I was so so proud. He had given up a year to do something I never in my life could, and for that I was so very proud. Another boy living in my building gave the same exam and scored pretty well. So at dinner, we were sitting and discussing all this:
Me:Yeah, my friend’s done so well. A 170.
Mom:But that’s after a gap year, right?
Me:Yeah. He worked hard.
Mom:Yeah but he had a whole year, he should’ve scored like a 300.
Mom:(scoffs) That’s no excuse.
Me:More than half the people at my college are people who’ve taken a gap year and yet they did rubbish.
Mom:(shrugs) They must’ve not studied. (glares) Why are you taking his side anyway?
Okay mum, let’s get one thing clear. Everyone isn’t as clever as you. Everyone wasn’t the school captain, and the debate champion, and everything else. Why am I taking his side? Because he’s my friend. And I’ll say again, I’m so proud. When I told him how upset I was with my score and my college options, he told me to re-take the exam. I said no, I can’t. I cant’t do it again because I know if I couldn’t do it once, I can’t do it again.
The amount of anger I felt at her during that conversation was not fathomable. She’s always judging people based on her intelligence capacity, which is a lot just to put it out there.
I told the parents that my last trimester exam was going to be a tough one and my only hopes were to pass:
Dad:Why? Why won’t it go good?
Me:Cause it’s tough.
Mom:Yeah, but why?
Me:The theories are not understandable. Its complete nonsense.
Dad:You should’ve asked the professor.
Me:He knows nothing.
Dad:(angry) Never say that.
Me:It’s not my fault he doesn’t know shit.
Mom:Just go study.
What do they think I do the whole day? When I say I can’t understand a normal reaction would be, ‘Okay, you’ll do fine next time. Just get through this.’ But no,we all need to be super clever, don’t we parents everywhere?
Open your eyes and realise your kids can be a lot more than some intelligent student.